Tips For dealing with Sibling Rivalry.”

“Momma is going to Time Out” Is what I say to my chaotic bunch. Although they care less, if I go to timeout, bc they will just follow me, but its a breather for me.

With three all within 14Months apart in age. And while they are all best friends and love to play together, they also do their fair share of fighting.

I’m proud to say, though, that the sibling rivalry in my household is much better than it once was. Through trial & error. we have managed to greatly reduce the amount of conflict.

Here are some of the practical tips, tricks, and rules that have helped me handle the sibling rivalry between my kids:

1. Name-calling is absolutely never allowed

This is a rule I decided to implement early on in my parenting journey. Too many times, fights about little things can turn into character assassination. So, we don’t allow name-calling of any sort, at any time.

I know that — although something might seem harmless — it can still be hurtful and even scarring down the road. Being called names can be internalized and become negative self-talk.

2. Take breaks when necessary

If my kiddos have a day where they just can’t seem to stop fighting, or if they get into an argument that is extra heated, I suggest that they take a break from each other. That way, each one has a chance to cool down.

3. Talk about the fights after emotions have calmed down

 This tip is something that I’ve found helpful throughout my parenting journey. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about sibling rivalry, or kids not listening, or a hard day at school. You just can’t get through to kids when their emotions are roaring loud and proud!.

It’s best to let our kids calm down and talk to them later. While the emotions are high, the best thing you can do is empathize and help them handle those feelings in an appropriate way.

Instead, empathize each kiddos feelings. You can try saying, “You sound really mad. Do you want to take a break with me to calm down?” Then, later when calm, you can talk about the details and insert some parenting wisdom.

By the way, yelling over kiddos who are yelling at each other doesn’t work. Not that I know that from experience or anything…

4. Keep your language positive

Instead of saying something like, “You’re being such a bad girl,” say. I know you can listen because you’ve shown me that before. Can you show me again!”

Keeping your language positive helps your kids to think positively about themselves, even if their behavior isn’t good at the moment. If they believe they “can’t listen,” they might stop trying. But if you insist that they can listen when they want to, they’ll try harder.

So instead of “You guys are always so mean to each other!” Try, “I know you guys can play nicely together. Now please show me.”

5. Encourage them to work out disputes on their own

I used to play the referee for every single dispute between my kids.

First, when they came to me with a problem, I encouraged them to come up with their own solutions. If they were arguing over a toy, for example, I would say something like:

“OK, well, we only have one of these, and there’s two of you, so what do you guys think we should do?”

As a result, they have learned to resolve small conflicts without me, and only come to me when they need to. I often overhear little arguments that are quickly resolved (and even include apologies!) without any help from me.( Pat on my own back,💅🏽)

6. PRAISE them when they are getting along well and not fighting

One day it occurred to me that, I never praised my kids when they were playing nicely.

Now, I try to point out whenever I see behavior that I would like to see repeated.

If I see one of my kiddos sharing a favorite toy, or giving each other a compliment, or simply playing for an hour without bickering — I point it out! I tell them how proud I am of them and how it makes me so happy to see them being the amazing kiddos that I know they are.

7. Make sure you’re not accidentally fueling the sibling rivalry

This is a big one in our household, bc Shaun and I take the kids out separate a lot to give them breaks and to give the other parent a break from all of the kiddos. We will give treats or awards and not remembering to get every child something, knowing it will be a trigger as soon as the child walks into the house. Luckily, my kids now also pick up one for themselves and one for their sibling that is not with them. Keep in mind it something like candy or something small, but they think about each other. That alone makes me feel like, I’m doing a good job at parenting.

That being said, you’re doing a great job at this parenting thing. And just because these little hacks work for our family does not being your way is wrong. Every family is different and every child is different, so do what’s best for your family and what keeps you thriving.

Hey Friend!   Now let’s go be our own motivation and follow me on Pinterest, for more helpful and relatable chaos!

Also don’t forget to SHARE!

From you Favorite Editor of Chaos

Shannon 🌸

Tips For dealing with Sibling Rivalry.”

“Momma is going to Time Out” Is what I say to my chaotic bunch. Although they care less if I go to timeout, bc they will just follow me, but its a breather for me.

With three all within 14Months apart in age. And while they are all best friends and love to play together, they also do their fair share of fighting.

I’m proud to say, though, that the sibling rivalry in my household is much better than it once was. Through trial & error. we have managed to greatly reduce the amount of conflict.

Here are some of the practical tips, tricks, and rules that have helped me handle the sibling rivalry between my kids:

1. Name-calling is absolutely never allowed

This is a rule I decided to implement early on in my parenting journey. Too many times, fights about little things can turn into character assassination. So, we don’t allow name-calling of any sort, at any time.

I know that — although something might seem harmless — it can still be hurtful and even scarring down the road. Being called names can be internalized and become negative self-talk.

2. Take breaks when necessary

If my kiddos have a day where they just can’t seem to stop fighting, or if they get into an argument that is extra heated, I suggest that they take a break from each other. That way, each one has a chance to cool down.

3. Talk about the fights after emotions have calmed down

 This tip is something that I’ve found helpful throughout my parenting journey. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about sibling rivalry, or kids not listening, or a hard day at school. You just can’t get through to kids when their emotions are roaring loud and proud!.

It’s best to let our kids calm down and talk to them later. While the emotions are high, the best thing you can do is empathize and help them handle those feelings in an appropriate way.

Instead, empathize each kiddos feelings. You can try saying, “You sound really mad. Do you want to take a break with me to calm down?” Then, later when calm, you can talk about the details and insert some parenting wisdom.

By the way, yelling over kiddos who are yelling at each other doesn’t work. Not that I know that from experience or anything…

4. Keep your language positive

Instead of saying something like, “You’re being such a bad girl,” say. I know you can listen because you’ve shown me that before. Can you show me again!”

Keeping your language positive helps your kids to think positively about themselves, even if their behavior isn’t good at the moment. If they believe they “can’t listen,” they might stop trying. But if you insist that they can listen when they want to, they’ll try harder.

So instead of “You guys are always so mean to each other!” Try, “I know you guys can play nicely together. Now please show me.”

5. Encourage them to work out disputes on their own

I used to play the referee for every single dispute between my kids.

First, when they came to me with a problem, I encouraged them to come up with their own solutions. If they were arguing over a toy, for example, I would say something like:

“OK, well, we only have one of these, and there’s two of you, so what do you guys think we should do?”

As a result, they have learned to resolve small conflicts without me, and only come to me when they need to. I often overhear little arguments that are quickly resolved (and even include apologies!) without any help from me.( Pat on my own back,💅🏽)

6. PRAISE them when they are getting along well and not fighting

One day it occurred to me that, I never praised my kids when they were playing nicely.

Now, I try to point out whenever I see behavior that I would like to see repeated.

If I see one of my kiddos sharing a favorite toy, or giving each other a compliment, or simply playing for an hour without bickering — I point it out! I tell them how proud I am of them and how it makes me so happy to see them being the amazing kiddos that I know they are.

7. Make sure you’re not accidentally fueling the sibling rivalry

This is a big one in our household, bc Shaun and I take the kids out separate a lot to give them breaks and to give the other parent a break from all of the kiddos. We will give treats or awards and not remembering to get every child something, knowing it will be a trigger as soon as the child walks into the house. Luckily, my kids now also pick up one for themselves and one for their sibling that is not with them. Kind in mind it something like candy or something small, but they think about each other. That alone makes me feel like, I’m doing a good job at parenting.

That being said, you’re doing a great job at this parenting thing. And just because these little hacks work for our family does not being your way is wrong. Every family is different and every child is different, so do what’s best for your family and what keeps you thriving.

Hey Friend!   Now let’s go be our own motivation and follow me on Pinterest, for more helpful and relatable chaos!

Also don’t forget to SHARE!

From you Favorite Editor of Chaos

Shannon 🌸

Tips For dealing with Sibling Rivalry.”

“Momma is going to Time Out” Is what I say to my chaotic bunch. Although they care less if I go to timeout, bc they will just follow me, but its a breather for me.

With three all within 14Months apart in age. And while they are all best friends and love to play together, they also do their fair share of fighting.

I’m proud to say, though, that the sibling rivalry in my household is much better than it once was. Through trial & error. we have managed to greatly reduce the amount of conflict.

Here are some of the practical tips, tricks, and rules that have helped me handle the sibling rivalry between my kids:

1. Name-calling is absolutely never allowed

This is a rule I decided to implement early on in my parenting journey. Too many times, fights about little things can turn into character assassination. So, we don’t allow name-calling of any sort, at any time.

I know that — although something might seem harmless — it can still be hurtful and even scarring down the road. Being called names can be internalized and become negative self-talk.

2. Take breaks when necessary

If my kiddos have a day where they just can’t seem to stop fighting, or if they get into an argument that is extra heated, I suggest that they take a break from each other. That way, each one has a chance to cool down.

3. Talk about the fights after emotions have calmed down

 This tip is something that I’ve found helpful throughout my parenting journey. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about sibling rivalry, or kids not listening, or a hard day at school. You just can’t get through to kids when their emotions are roaring loud and proud!.

It’s best to let our kids calm down and talk to them later. While the emotions are high, the best thing you can do is empathize and help them handle those feelings in an appropriate way.

Instead, empathize each kiddos feelings. You can try saying, “You sound really mad. Do you want to take a break with me to calm down?” Then, later when calm, you can talk about the details and insert some parenting wisdom.

By the way, yelling over kiddos who are yelling at each other doesn’t work. Not that I know that from experience or anything…

4. Keep your language positive

Instead of saying something like, “You’re being such a bad girl,” say. I know you can listen because you’ve shown me that before. Can you show me again!”

Keeping your language positive helps your kids to think positively about themselves, even if their behavior isn’t good at the moment. If they believe they “can’t listen,” they might stop trying. But if you insist that they can listen when they want to, they’ll try harder.

So instead of “You guys are always so mean to each other!” Try, “I know you guys can play nicely together. Now please show me.”

5. Encourage them to work out disputes on their own

I used to play the referee for every single dispute between my kids.

First, when they came to me with a problem, I encouraged them to come up with their own solutions. If they were arguing over a toy, for example, I would say something like:

“OK, well, we only have one of these, and there’s two of you, so what do you guys think we should do?”

As a result, they have learned to resolve small conflicts without me, and only come to me when they need to. I often overhear little arguments that are quickly resolved (and even include apologies!) without any help from me.( Pat on my own back,💅🏽)

6. PRAISE them when they are getting along well and not fighting

One day it occurred to me that, I never praised my kids when they were playing nicely.

Now, I try to point out whenever I see behavior that I would like to see repeated.

If I see one of my kiddos sharing a favorite toy, or giving each other a compliment, or simply playing for an hour without bickering — I point it out! I tell them how proud I am of them and how it makes me so happy to see them being the amazing kiddos that I know they are.

7. Make sure you’re not accidentally fueling the sibling rivalry

This is a big one in our household, bc Shaun and I take the kids out separate a lot to give them breaks and to give the other parent a break from all of the kiddos. We will give treats or awards and not remembering to get every child something, knowing it will be a trigger as soon as the child walks into the house. Luckily, my kids now also pick up one for themselves and one for their sibling that is not with them. Kind in mind it something like candy or something small, but they think about each other. That alone makes me feel like, I’m doing a good job at parenting.

That being said, you’re doing a great job at this parenting thing. And just because these little hacks work for our family does not being your way is wrong. Every family is different and every child is different, so do what’s best for your family and what keeps you thriving.

Hey Friend!   Now let’s go be our own motivation and follow me on Pinterest, for more helpful and relatable chaos!

Also don’t forget to SHARE!

From you Favorite Editor of Chaos

Shannon 🌸